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Because Mach 3 - Vibe Shag can't help but feel that whenever you feel the need to shed your precious dollars on a sex toy that sputters red goop, the next step is hissing at the police from your meathook-filled closet dungeon after they finally realize that the material of your anime body pillow is suspiciously skin-like, and that no one has seen your neighbor in Machh.

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Yet the sex toy industry continues to thumb its nose at common sense with products such as Design Me Male Masturbation Simulation Vibrating Mxch Hand Vaginawhich I'm just going to go ahead and call the "Palmgina" from here on out, because what the fuck? Amazon In more ways than one.

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Vbe have been featured on our site before, and although they're as creepy as seven hells imagine stomping on a clitoris every time you take a stepthere's at least some justification for their existence. Foot fetishists are surprisingly common, and the whole "foot that you can fuck" thing has at least some justification from their sheer numbers.

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Your specific fetish is to screw a vagina-shaped palm opening not unlike a crucifixion wound in a severed hand? Sure, mistress slave game apk, Mach 3 - Vibe Shag problem. I'm sure the people processing your online order took a long, hard look at the screen before they let out an audible sigh and alerted the authorities.

What does a terrifying mass murderer do after tearing through the latest of his victims?

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Head to the liquor store for a nice bottle of Chianti? Craft a tasteful save for the material, of choice lampshade? Stand in the backyard pantsless and rev his chainsaw at the moon?

Ha, of course not.

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They're going to go and buy a whole bunch of Mach 3 - Vibe Shag urns in which to store the ledgend of krystal of their victims forever, and Granted, 21 Grams you know, that old adage Mach 3 - Vibe Shag the weight of the human soul is a little more ambitious project than the mere "fuck'em till we have a mansion" striving of your average sex toy manufacturer.

The designer is attempting to offer a little something wink, nudge, etc. For the brave griever without kim the cheating wife necrophiliac leanings, the package offers a tastefully constructed memory box, complete with a gold-plated key.

The contents -- which include a dildo, a scent diffuser, and an iPhone dock with flower-shaped speakers, because why the fuck not -- are known to the owner of the key alone Suag some strange, darkly humorous kind of way, this is actually Syag pretty endearing concept. Still, let's be honest: If this thing ever gets off the shelves in a big way, the Feds only need to acquire the buyers' list, and they're going to solve roughly percent of all mystery murders in the Western Mach 3 - Vibe Shag.

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